Well, those left-wing fruitcakes are at it again.

CBS has announced that "60 Minutes" will NOT air a story about the invasion of Iraq until after the election. The network said it wouldn't be "appropriate."

Lord, no! It wouldn't be appropriate to air a story about the thorniest issue of the campaign before the election. Once the story can't have any effect on public policy, yes, that would be the ideal time to air it.

Are the huge corporations that control the media so glassy-eyed after 4 years of receiving 5-star blow jobs from the Bush administration that they've forgotten to make the bias look accidental? Hel-LOOO!

I saw footage of Bush on the late news tonight, walking out of an office building and waving to a crowd of supporters. I swear, I could see the cum-stains on his ten-gallon hat.

Thanks to the scary man at Stupid Evil Bastard for the heads-up on this.
Please Help US Get Our "60 Minutes" Of Fame Before November

If you're not from Massachusetts, or even if you are, why would you really care who turns out to be the Speaker of the Massachusetts House of Representatives? Bear with me, and I'l tell you why.

As you probably know, gay marriage has been legal in Mass. for over half a year now, thanks to the wisdom and incredible courage of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court, which ruled late last year that denying marriage to gays is illegal under the state's constitution. I'm a bit of a court geek, and I've read a fair number of ponderous and tortured decisions in their entirety, but the 50-some page tome handed down by the SJC in this case is a true model of reason, insight and clarity. Not just a dry interpretation of the law, the majority opinion places the decision in its historical context, and acknowledges the social and political bee's nest it's stirred up. I highly recommend it as an example of the good that can result from putting intelligent people in positions of authority. [Here's a PDF version of the decision, along with a concurring opinion and the intellectually dishonest dissenting opinion.]

As you may also know, the spittle and vitriol began spraying from the slack-jawed mouths of religious leaders and other homophobes almost instantaneously. One of my favorites comes from a fundraising letter sent out by the Christian Family Coalition: "YOUR CHURCH will have to abandon Scripture and "marry" homosexuals or lose their tax exempt status or worse yet - BE SHUT DOWN if they refuse to marry two men or two women!"

Note to the CFC: We queers are the ones that have a reputation as drama queens. You're gonna fuck up our stereotypes if you're not careful.

Long story short: within hours of the decision, the movement was afoot to amend the state constitution to ban gay marriage forever. Fortunately, the Massachusetts constitution has a modicum of protection against such knee-jerk idiocy. In order to do it, an amendment needs to pass a joint session of the House and Senate, sit around until after the next election, pass another joint session of the House and Senate, and then go out to the voters for approval at the next general election. So if everything goes perfectly, it's a 3-year process.

So far, the amendment has passed the joint session once. It will need to pass again this winter to proceed to the voters in 2006.

Now let me introduce to you one Thomas Finneran, the Speaker of the House. Though he calls himself a Democrat, he's actually a woman-hating, autocratic, petty, conniving homophobic reactionary, with a god complex that's truly ill-suited to his clownish face and thinning hair. He's ruled the House for eight years by bullying those who fear him and brutally punishing those who dare challenge him. I won't get into the specifics here, but suffice it to say he's been a filthy disgrace to the office and an enemy of democratic government. And he was a driving force behind the movement to outlaw gay marriage.

As so often happens, however, Finneran's hubris has managed to consume him. His unbridled arrogance led him to flat-out lie under oath when being questioned about his role in drafting an unconstitutional redistricting plan. He, the Speaker of the House, said with a straight face that he had nothing to do with it. This despite the fact that it was almost solely his doing, and that the software used to prepare the new map was only to be found on the computer belonging to his Chief of Staff. So, to Finneran's abject horror, the Feds are calling him out. Words like "perjury" and "obstruction of justice" are swirling around Finneran, and he's hired a crackerjack lawyer to defend him. Now he's taking a private sector job.

So there's been a scramble behind the scenes in the last few days, with several wannabe speakers trying to garner enough support to snag the position. Now it looks like we have a winner, named Salvatore DiMasi. He's a true Democrat, far to the left of Finneran, and he supports gay marriage. Queers in Massachusetts are delighted.

So the hope is, without the dickwad Finneran leading the way, the constitutional amendment may not pass this winter. And that means that gays and lesbians in Massachusetts will continue to get married. Soon, some legal obstacles will be removed by the court, and gay couples from other states will be able to get married here. Then they'll go back to their own states and demand recognition under the "Full Faith and Credit" clause of the US Constitution. When they're denied that recognition, probably due to some draconian "Defense of Marriage" statute, the whole thing will be battled out in the federal courts. Eventually, the matter will be decided by the US Supreme Court, and if they follow their own precedents, they'll rule that gay marriages performed in Massachusetts must be recognized by other states. They'll also rule, perhaps as part of the same case, that the federal government must recognize those same gay couples. The Defense of Marriage Act will be ruled unconstitutional.

Keeping gay marriage safe and legal is the greatest civil rights challenge of this generation, and America may become a leader in this challenge; a beacon to the world, showing that marriage equality isn't simply a hackneyed experiment, but an overdue re-alignment of the very notion of what constitutes social justice. It's a process that may take most of a decade to come to fruition, but when it's finished, we just may be able to look back and say that it wouldn't have happened without the unexpected turnover in the Massachusetts House of Representatives.

So, DiMasi, don't screw it up.
DiMasi said to secure speakership

UPDATE 9-27-04 -- Finneran made it official today. He's leaving. DiMasi will be installed into the position later this week. *whew*

Delicious subversion!

This guy takes address labels from the Post Office, prints "The USPS does not acknowledge the authority of the Bush administration" on them, and then returns them to the Post Office. How very enemy-combatant of him!



Here's a Quicktime movie of the shenanigans. If you don't have Quicktime installed on your computer, you need to get a clue.
POSTAL LABELS AGAINST BUSH

This is actually an oldie, but with the upcoming election, it's still relevant. It's an excerpt from Al Franken's "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them."

My favorite line: "[L]eprosy is a matter of personal responsibility."


The Gospel of Supply Side Jesus

It's a fair question, I must admit, and an oft-asked one. The Fortress Of Hate has been bombarded with everything from alarmed emails to sumptuous bouquets of "Get Well Soon!" flowers.

Fear not, gentle readers. Everything is fine.

The prolonged absence is due to a home repair project gone bad. What was going to be a simple stripping of wallpaper has become a kafkaesque nightmare; a spiraling vortex of humiliation and despair that threatens to consume all I hold dear.

2 Dog Night? Swallowed whole by the project. Rhu Barb Pi? In hiding at an undisclosed location. And me? I spend my days praying for a death that so far eludes me; a death that would put an end to the steaming, scraping, sanding, skimming, shopping and sweating that have eroded my soul to a tattered rag.

"This Old House" is bullshit. The Home Depot is bullshit. HGTV is bullshit. Do-It-Yourself is a great big lie.

In the late '80's, when the huddled masses began gaining access to computers with word processors and dot-matrix printers, we learned that technology didn't make us better writers. It just allowed bad writers to print letters in a "ransom note" font and play with line spacing so term papers looked longer.

In the '90's, when those same huddled masses gained access to the World Wide Web, we learned that technology didn't make us more interesting. It just allowed boring people to broadcast uninteresting things to the entire world.

Now, in the 21st century, the masses are learning to make movies, and once again, the democratization of technology is exposing to sunlight just how undesirable it is for most people to express themselves. It seems that we're all slaves to Sturgeon's Law.

But there is some true talent out there, and here's an example. It's a short film called "danny bot," and it's truly inspired filmmaking.
danny bot: the film

Under capitalism, everything is for sale. Everything. Whether you want to admit it or not. EV-ER-EE-THING.

In America, we take things a step further. Under American-style capitalism, everything is for sale, AND everything has a buyer.

Case in point: with over 4 days to go, this pair of dirty socks on eBay already has 4 bidders. Dirty socks, folks.

As for how I came to be searching eBay for dirty socks, well, that's a post for another time...
eBay item 3929234352 (Ends Sep-13-04 11:05:31 PDT) - One Pair White Mens Socks (Used and Still Dirty)

Here's an absolutely fantastic article about the economic and social side-effects of the virus known as Wal-Mart. Prepare to be disgusted.

"Wal-Mart has also lulled shoppers into ignoring the difference between the price of something and the cost. Its unending focus on price underscores something that Americans are only starting to realize about globalization: Ever-cheaper prices have consequences. Says Steve Dobbins, president of thread maker Carolina Mills: 'We want clean air, clear water, good living conditions, the best health care in the world--yet we aren't willing to pay for anything manufactured under those restrictions.'"
Fast Company | The Wal-Mart You Don't Know

I've been ruminating lately about what sorts of traits a good boyfriend might have. Engaging in hand-to-hand combat with an alligator to save the life of your dog certainly gets you past the moral-fiber portion of the test, but that's only going to get you so far these days. What really matters to shallow, jaded folks like myself is the physical stuff.

Washboard abs? Great. Piercing blue eyes? Natch. Firm, round bubble-butt? Yes, please. The ability to put your own fist in your mouth? I hear wedding bells!

Check this out:



*SIGH* I wonder if she has any fist-swallowing brothers back on the farm?

Thanks to deliberatewasteoftime.com for the lead on this.
GULP!